Do you ever get so excited about something that your nose starts to tickle, your eyes start to water a little bit and you really, really want to make this sound: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
This is not a rhetorical question. I’m seriously interested, so please leave a comment under this one, pleaseyesthankyouverymuch.
I get so light in the head over things I’m passionate about that I sometimes wonder if it’s normal. Knowing me, it probably isn’t. But I can’t help it and in a way, I’m only half embarrassed by it. The other half… is the nose-tickling feeling all over again.
Teachers and lecturers frequently overlook my stretched out hand and ask things like “Maybe anybody else has an opinion about this?” over my head. Last time that happened was half a day into a one-week fulltime course. Three hours after meeting me the lecturer was already fed up with my contributions to the class. Three. Hours.
I wasn’t hugely unpopular in high school, you know. Not outside of the classroom. In the classroom, some people passionately hated me. I passionately didn’t give a rat’s ass. I simply can’t help myself; I just get superduperexpicalifragilistically excited over stuff.
Vegetarianism, paintings, the water theme in Effie Briest, participatory research, the idea that constant growth is a majorly unintelligent concept in a world of limited resources, this TED talk, the physiological merits of a vegan diet, why my generation is so accepting of narcissism, circular economies, the combination of mint and peas… all these are topics that I was – more or less politely – asked to shut up about.
I always accepted that, because I know that a big part of my inability to do small talk is that I love to hear myself sound smart, something we Germans call “Geltungsdrang” (transl.: need for admiration. God, I love the German language sometimes. The direct translation would be “prestige-urge”. Makes my nose tickle.). That isn’t my nicest attribute and I fully understand that people find me majorly annoying for it.
There’s more to it, though, because my nose also tickles when I’m by myself. Sometimes so badly, that I n e e d to share my excitement somehow and that’s when I usually start crying in the Louvre writing.
Some of my friends kinda get it, some ra-ha-ha-ha-heeeally don’t. (Yes, I’m talking to you, Graemer-Clan! If I had a dollar for every time one of you guys looked at me ironically or rolled their eyes at me for raising a not-so-pleasant topic… one day I’ll räch myself for it… hrngffzpk)
Anyways, everyone I know has made fun of me for it at some point. Which is fine. I’d be a huge douchebag if it weren’t for that. I just wonder if I’m really alone with that urge or if others feel it, too. And if yes, of course, everybody feels it, they’re just much better at containing it, HOW DO YOU DO IT?!?!